Thursday, July 31, 2008




I played hooky today from school and the gym. It seems I have been really cranky and my sweetie thought I needed a down day.
I was already skipping the gym by roller blading on the beach this morning for cardio. ( i pulled a muscle in my arm and my legs are really tight) Then my phone rang at 8:45 am wanting to know if I wanted to play hooky and get a massage first followed by the beach. Count me in. Please don't ask twice. Now he did want me to skip the roller blading part which I didn't do. I had just gotten to the beach and I needed to unwind.

Now my crankiness came from all over. First was hormones, (I am almost 50). My health issues from the last 2 weeks, (thank god it went my way), My Grams being so sick. She's fading fast and now has 24 hour care. I am so glad I saw her when I did.
And worrying over my friend Walter. Who is having a really tough time. It seems he now has severe heart issues due to the port they put in him for chemo. It got infected, they didn't know and it destroyed one of his heart valves. Are we having fun yet?

So between all that and trying to finish school, I was running on empty. And no beach time in almost 2 weeks took it's toll. Thank God my sweetie knows how to get me to unwind. We had a really nice day and I feel refreshed. I could deal with a few days a week like this one.

Another friend from school has had a really crappy week. He wants to go to the beach tomorrow. I said yes. Nice guy.
I just hope tomorrow is as nice as today.

Thursday, July 24, 2008



THE NEWS WAS IN MY FAVOR TODAY. SO MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED.

Talk about nerve racking for sure. I am thrilled that the news was good. No cancer this time.
The nurse I talked to told me it was benign and then I said Thank God. Then asked her who could take this titanium
chip out they put in. She said call a surgeon. Guess what. No one will do it. It's too small and no one will touch it.
Evidently it's the size of a pin head. I guess she didn't think I was happy with the news. I told not the case. I just wanted to know if anyone could take it out. I was already moving on in my mind. NEXT!!

So now my kids and I just had dinner. The waitress was a riot. Just a happy time out celebrating the good news. Now they are going to start planning my 50th birthday party in September. I am going to have it a day after my birthday so no one has to go to work the next day. My birthday is on a Thursday. And my friend Walter should be out of the hospital by then . He's improving but having a really tough time of it. But his white blood count is up. Which is good.

I hope everyone else had as good as day as I did. I even got my hair done today. I took a down day. I guess my nerves were starting to get to me. Time to get back to normal and stop worrying.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Some days it really hurts to be a woman.

Last Thursday I had my yearly mammograms. They found something they didn't like. So today I had the pleasure of having a needle biopsy. OUCH!!! My boob hurts like a b&^ch. And that is putting it mildly. The spot they didn't like is behind my nipple. So in they went after much numbing. The Dr did get most of it out. Thats the good news. They said I would be a little uncomfortable. They lied. This really hurts.
So now I rest, and wait for the results. In 3 to 5 days they will call. I'm glad they aren't in any hurry.

So keep me in your prayers.

And no beach for a week. Yikes.

Friday, July 18, 2008





Our trip to see my Grams was a good one and an interesting one.

I do not like anyone controlling my time schedule. Now I am a pretty laid back and easy going person. Just don't try and control me.

Our access to my Grams was very limited and access was denied unless we jumped thru my Uncles girlfriends hoops. She would lock us out. Unbelievable. I swear I am a competent adult with a brain. It seems she thinks unless she controls my Grams visitation schedule she will have to deal with my Grams if she has a tremor episode or my Grams will get tired and we won't let her rest. I'm serious.

My take on my Grams is this. She is very fragile, but sharp as a whip. No change there. Her hearing is a little worse. But she catches most of what your saying. And if she doesn't, it got pretty funny. We had a lobster dinner together after much prodding with the girlfriend. She didn't realize that I was very capable of eating with my Grams and making sure she ate. Please. Just feed her lobster. She will eat and eat well. This year I did need to split her lobster for her, cut it up. No big deal. She still feeds herself.

My little sister and her daughter joined me on my journey north. Hence my flying into New Jersey, renting a car there, and driving the 7 hour trip to the Cape. My sister brought my 13 year old niece with us much to my not wanting her along on the trip. She's a sweet girl, spoiled rotten, and a royal pain in the ass. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with her whining. She promised she wouldn't be a pain in the ass. I explained to her before we left that this trip was NOT about her and what she wants. My sister got a little pissed. I didn't care. My niece lived up to herself. I asked her to stop whining and please stop. Her answer was she thought we missed it. NOT. I really could have lived without her presence. I know my kids never acted like this on any trip. They just weren't allowed.

The real reason for my niece joining us is that for some reason her family just won't give her a break. My niece thru a fit and said she wouldn't stay at home with her brothers and Dad.

My Grams did enjoy seeing her and she did behave while we saw Grams. A total of 3 hours in 3 days. We got harassed by my uncles girlfriend into seeing my father. My sister hasn't seen him in 25 years, he had never met her daughter, etc. He did apologize to her for being absent from her entire life. He left when she was a baby. Saw her for a few months when she was 16 and took off again. He didn't want her to hate him or think bad of him. She told him flat out that she can't hate someone she has never known. As for thinking bad of him. She told him she doesn't think of him at all. She was very nice and polite to him as she was taught as a child. If she never sees him again. She's ok. I just took pictures and he barely asked how I was or acknowledged that I was there. He focused on my sister. Which is just fine with me. I like my sister just don't care. We were raised by my Mom and her parents. My fathers parents loved us and never stopped seeing us even after they moved to the Cape. Grams is his Mom.

As you can tell. I am happy to be home. A short trip north with lots of drama. I really dislike drama.

I hope everyone has a great day. Time for the gym to bleed off some stress.

Friday, July 04, 2008



HAPPY 4TH OF JULY.

I hope everyone has had an awesome day so far. I started off on my favorite beach. What a gorgeous beach day for sure.

Then my phone rang. One of my younger sisters called to let me know my favorite person in the whole world has a malignant brain tumor. My Grams. She'll be 94 on October 1st. If she makes it that long. She's awesome. Has always been awesome.
I noticed the last few times I spoke to her she was having issues remembering what we were talking about. Now she can't hear even with her hearing aides. So I will take to sending her letters. She lives on Cape Cod with my Uncle in a huge house overlooking the Cape Cod Sound. It will be hard getting any updates from my Uncle or his girlfriend. They have a tendency to not answer any questions or be forthcoming with information. I am not looking forward to loosing my Grams at all. But she's had a great life.

I just have not had a very good week in the news department for sure.