Wednesday, September 03, 2008


I was born on September 4th, 1958.

I hear it was not a fun pregnancy for my Mom. And I guess I was a huge pain growing up. But I think I turned out pretty well. I think she just didn't know what to do with a normal ADHD kid with a learning disability. I was outgoing, always smiling, loved being outside and going all the time. And I wasn't bad looking. But my Mom didn't exactly like me. Thank God for my Grams. I think she kind of caught on really quickly, we lived next door and she always kidnapped me. I was the 3rd child in 3 1/2 years. So Mom had her hands full. She had 3 more after me. My parents split when I was in the 3rd grade and the baby of the family was only 1. I lost my Mom in 1990. And my Grams last month. So I was raised primarily by my Grandparent. Both sets. We lived with my Moms parents after my parents split. But my Grams continued to kidnap me.

So in honor of my 50th birthday I am going to be good to myself tomorrow. I am going to get up like usual and take my dogs for a walk. Go to the gym and tone and firm and bleed off some energy. ( I am just an adult now with ADHD and a learning disability.) Then I am taking the day off from school and going to the beach and get naked like usual.. I go to a nude beach so I have no tan lines. I am a naturalist. I will more than likely go alone, but thats ok. It's pretty quiet up there during the week and the lifeguards are right there. My sweeties are both working. Oh well. Then home for a shower and off to dinner with my kids. And that is how I will spend my birthday. No big parties, no boyfriends, and nothing out of the ordinary.

My "wusband " has also decided that in honor of my 50th birthday he will now need a divorce and cut me off financially until he makes me bankrupt. Lets just say that he chose this week to demand all kinds of things, be nasty and non ending harassment to let me know that he finally wants out. I knew he was too nice at our sons party.. There is always and will always be him pulling the rug out from under me. Never ever wonder why I left him 6 years ago. The abuse was non ending. He was just taking a breather. Oh and it must be my birthday. I just roll my eyes and shrug my shoulders.

Now the good news is I am finally getting ready to take my final at school, pass my auditions so I can graduate and be ready for the auditions that should be happening the end of the month or early October.

Sounds like the perfect timing for someone to act up and kill my concentration. And this guy wants out peacefully. He just never learns. The best way not to get what you want from me is to piss me off. I will dig my feet in and hold true to what I believe in and not budge. With a smile on my face of course. I will NOT sink to this mans level ever. I will not get nasty. I still have hopes of sitting at our children's weddings, family gatherings, etc without daggers being thrown. I know it's a lot to ask. But I do want a peaceful ending to a nasty 30 year marriage. I was smart enough to bail at 24 for good. It was just to dangerous to stay anymore.

So Happy 50th birthday to me. I hope the day goes as planned. That the ex takes a day off from the nastiness that came out of nowhere yesterday and hasn't stopped since via text, and email. I do believe I need a beach day. Thank God the hurricane is not coming our way so I can have a beach day. Wish me luck.

And thanks for letting me vent a little . I have had a total bitch of a few days.