HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY TO ME.

I was born on September 4th, 1958.

I hear it was not a fun pregnancy for my Mom. And I guess I was a huge pain growing up. But I think I turned out pretty well. I think she just didn't know what to do with a normal ADHD kid with a learning disability. I was outgoing, always smiling, loved being outside and going all the time. And I wasn't bad looking. But my Mom didn't exactly like me. Thank God for my Grams. I think she kind of caught on really quickly, we lived next door and she always kidnapped me. I was the 3rd child in 3 1/2 years. So Mom had her hands full. She had 3 more after me. My parents split when I was in the 3rd grade and the baby of the family was only 1. I lost my Mom in 1990. And my Grams last month. So I was raised primarily by my Grandparent. Both sets. We lived with my Moms parents after my parents split. But my Grams continued to kidnap me.

So in honor of my 50th birthday I am going to be good to myself tomorrow. I am going to get up like usual and take my dogs for a walk. Go to the gym and tone and firm and bleed off some energy. ( I am just an adult now with ADHD and a learning disability.) Then I am taking the day off from school and going to the beach and get naked like usual.. I go to a nude beach so I have no tan lines. I am a naturalist. I will more than likely go alone, but thats ok. It's pretty quiet up there during the week and the lifeguards are right there. My sweeties are both working. Oh well. Then home for a shower and off to dinner with my kids. And that is how I will spend my birthday. No big parties, no boyfriends, and nothing out of the ordinary.

My "wusband " has also decided that in honor of my 50th birthday he will now need a divorce and cut me off financially until he makes me bankrupt. Lets just say that he chose this week to demand all kinds of things, be nasty and non ending harassment to let me know that he finally wants out. I knew he was too nice at our sons party.. There is always and will always be him pulling the rug out from under me. Never ever wonder why I left him 6 years ago. The abuse was non ending. He was just taking a breather. Oh and it must be my birthday. I just roll my eyes and shrug my shoulders.

Now the good news is I am finally getting ready to take my final at school, pass my auditions so I can graduate and be ready for the auditions that should be happening the end of the month or early October.

Sounds like the perfect timing for someone to act up and kill my concentration. And this guy wants out peacefully. He just never learns. The best way not to get what you want from me is to piss me off. I will dig my feet in and hold true to what I believe in and not budge. With a smile on my face of course. I will NOT sink to this mans level ever. I will not get nasty. I still have hopes of sitting at our children's weddings, family gatherings, etc without daggers being thrown. I know it's a lot to ask. But I do want a peaceful ending to a nasty 30 year marriage. I was smart enough to bail at 24 for good. It was just to dangerous to stay anymore.

So Happy 50th birthday to me. I hope the day goes as planned. That the ex takes a day off from the nastiness that came out of nowhere yesterday and hasn't stopped since via text, and email. I do believe I need a beach day. Thank God the hurricane is not coming our way so I can have a beach day. Wish me luck.

And thanks for letting me vent a little . I have had a total bitch of a few days.

HAPPY LABOR DAY WEEKEND!

Here is the sunrise from last Saturday. I thought it was a hazy morning, but I guess I got the shots.

What are your plans this weekend?

Today we celebrated my oldest sons 30th birthday. He wanted a beach BBQ.
We had a blast. A very nice and peaceful day was had by all on the beach. My wusband even came down for the weekend.
And the rain even stayed away for a change. Now that was a miracle for sure.

I'm still not sure how I can have a 30 year old child when I am only 35 myself. ;-}
I hope everyone else has had a nice as day as I did. I started it off with a ride to the beach to take pictures of the sunrise. I really wished I lived closer to the beach. But 15 minutes isn't bad.

Tropical Storm Fay has left the area.

We've had a few wet and windy days down here for sure. It's still really windy with a few rain bands floating in and out. But all is good. No flooding in my neighborhood, no damage to my cars or my body due to this storm. So all is good.

It always amazes me that the news over reacts to a possible storm. I know we need to be prepared, etc. But do they really have to stir up mass hysteria. Several of my neighbors put up their hurricane shutters. Are you kidding me. The wind only made it to 40 mph. I don't think we even got that high. The cover didn't even blow off my bike.

School was cancelled for 2 days. So all these kids down here got a longer summer vacation. Now I don't blame them for that. Safety first and it did start to get ugly yesterday afternoon. This morning was really ugly until around 11. My school closed today too. Better safe than sorry.

My friend Walter checked himself out of the hospital last night. He's had enough for awhile and needed to sleep in his own bed for the first time in 2 months. He's now recovering from open heart surgery. The chemo and the port they used to give it to him destroyed his heart valve. His surgery was last week. He's very cranky and mad at the world. His oldest daughter leaves for college tomorrow and he can't take her as planned. She's a nervous wreck.

His daughter called me last night at 10 o'clock needing my help. They needed help moving a recliner into his house so he could sleep and no one was strong enough to help. So she scared up a truck, I made a phone call for a few 20 something boys and we were there within 30 minutes. The boys enjoyed the adventure and like helping out a friend of the family. We pulled it off in between down pours in the middle of a storm. Walter got some sleep last night. His daughter knew he needed to sleep in a reclining type position. She wanted her dad comfy. We made it happen. She's a strong willed kid for sure. I had told her if she needed anything at all to call me and I would get it done.

Walter texted me this morning to say thank you. No thanks needed in my book. He's one of my best friends. He would do it for any one of us.

I hope all is well in your little corner of the world.

IN LOVING MEMORY

ELLA B. SCHULTZ

93 YEARS OLD

WHAT AN ADVENTURE SHE HAD

SHE WILL BE SO MISSED

I LOVE YOU GRAMS

My Grams last summer sitting with my puppy. Grams loved her visit with Shiloh. Now last summer having Shiloh caused a huge ruckus at my Uncles house. But my Grams and I made the best of it and enjoyed our time together. It's hard to believe she was so good last summer.


What a huge difference a year makes in the elderly. Grams looks really good in this picture with my younger sister and her daughter Sam. The picture was taken last month. The latest news is Grams sleeps most of the time now. Has no movement on her left side, can't hear or speak anymore. They think she has had several mini strokes. So the brain tumor is growing. She is cared for 24 hours a day at home. From what my uncles girlfriend says, they are keeping her at home until we loose her. I only hope she goes quickly and has no pain. My Uncle is adamant on keeping her at home. He is still going back and forth to New Jersey every week for work. I hear my father has been coming over and sitting with her. Better late than never I say. Too bad she doesn't realize he is around. Or maybe she does. I just don't know. Getting information is tough and I just don't know what to believe.

I do know I won't be going up to see her anymore. By the time I have a week to go, she more than likely will not be with us or know i am even there. I can't put myself thru that unless I get a call and they need my help.

I gave back to my Grams 3 years ago with our awesome trip across the country. While she still had her health and could enjoy the trip of a life time. And my monthly dinner runs while I worked for the airlines. I did tend to spoil her rotten. My pleasure.

I hope all is well in your corner of the world. I spent the day on the beach until the thunderstorms ran me off around 3:30. Thats is how I unwind and keep sane.

I played hooky today from school and the gym. It seems I have been really cranky and my sweetie thought I needed a down day.
I was already skipping the gym by roller blading on the beach this morning for cardio. ( i pulled a muscle in my arm and my legs are really tight) Then my phone rang at 8:45 am wanting to know if I wanted to play hooky and get a massage first followed by the beach. Count me in. Please don't ask twice. Now he did want me to skip the roller blading part which I didn't do. I had just gotten to the beach and I needed to unwind.

Now my crankiness came from all over. First was hormones, (I am almost 50). My health issues from the last 2 weeks, (thank god it went my way), My Grams being so sick. She's fading fast and now has 24 hour care. I am so glad I saw her when I did.
And worrying over my friend Walter. Who is having a really tough time. It seems he now has severe heart issues due to the port they put in him for chemo. It got infected, they didn't know and it destroyed one of his heart valves. Are we having fun yet?

So between all that and trying to finish school, I was running on empty. And no beach time in almost 2 weeks took it's toll. Thank God my sweetie knows how to get me to unwind. We had a really nice day and I feel refreshed. I could deal with a few days a week like this one.

Another friend from school has had a really crappy week. He wants to go to the beach tomorrow. I said yes. Nice guy.
I just hope tomorrow is as nice as today.

THE NEWS WAS IN MY FAVOR TODAY. SO MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED.

Talk about nerve racking for sure. I am thrilled that the news was good. No cancer this time.
The nurse I talked to told me it was benign and then I said Thank God. Then asked her who could take this titanium
chip out they put in. She said call a surgeon. Guess what. No one will do it. It's too small and no one will touch it.
Evidently it's the size of a pin head. I guess she didn't think I was happy with the news. I told not the case. I just wanted to know if anyone could take it out. I was already moving on in my mind. NEXT!!

So now my kids and I just had dinner. The waitress was a riot. Just a happy time out celebrating the good news. Now they are going to start planning my 50th birthday party in September. I am going to have it a day after my birthday so no one has to go to work the next day. My birthday is on a Thursday. And my friend Walter should be out of the hospital by then . He's improving but having a really tough time of it. But his white blood count is up. Which is good.

I hope everyone else had as good as day as I did. I even got my hair done today. I took a down day. I guess my nerves were starting to get to me. Time to get back to normal and stop worrying.

Some days it really hurts to be a woman.

Last Thursday I had my yearly mammograms. They found something they didn't like. So today I had the pleasure of having a needle biopsy. OUCH!!! My boob hurts like a b&^ch. And that is putting it mildly. The spot they didn't like is behind my nipple. So in they went after much numbing. The Dr did get most of it out. Thats the good news. They said I would be a little uncomfortable. They lied. This really hurts.
So now I rest, and wait for the results. In 3 to 5 days they will call. I'm glad they aren't in any hurry.

So keep me in your prayers.

And no beach for a week. Yikes.

Our trip to see my Grams was a good one and an interesting one.

I do not like anyone controlling my time schedule. Now I am a pretty laid back and easy going person. Just don't try and control me.

Our access to my Grams was very limited and access was denied unless we jumped thru my Uncles girlfriends hoops. She would lock us out. Unbelievable. I swear I am a competent adult with a brain. It seems she thinks unless she controls my Grams visitation schedule she will have to deal with my Grams if she has a tremor episode or my Grams will get tired and we won't let her rest. I'm serious.

My take on my Grams is this. She is very fragile, but sharp as a whip. No change there. Her hearing is a little worse. But she catches most of what your saying. And if she doesn't, it got pretty funny. We had a lobster dinner together after much prodding with the girlfriend. She didn't realize that I was very capable of eating with my Grams and making sure she ate. Please. Just feed her lobster. She will eat and eat well. This year I did need to split her lobster for her, cut it up. No big deal. She still feeds herself.

My little sister and her daughter joined me on my journey north. Hence my flying into New Jersey, renting a car there, and driving the 7 hour trip to the Cape. My sister brought my 13 year old niece with us much to my not wanting her along on the trip. She's a sweet girl, spoiled rotten, and a royal pain in the ass. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with her whining. She promised she wouldn't be a pain in the ass. I explained to her before we left that this trip was NOT about her and what she wants. My sister got a little pissed. I didn't care. My niece lived up to herself. I asked her to stop whining and please stop. Her answer was she thought we missed it. NOT. I really could have lived without her presence. I know my kids never acted like this on any trip. They just weren't allowed.

The real reason for my niece joining us is that for some reason her family just won't give her a break. My niece thru a fit and said she wouldn't stay at home with her brothers and Dad.

My Grams did enjoy seeing her and she did behave while we saw Grams. A total of 3 hours in 3 days. We got harassed by my uncles girlfriend into seeing my father. My sister hasn't seen him in 25 years, he had never met her daughter, etc. He did apologize to her for being absent from her entire life. He left when she was a baby. Saw her for a few months when she was 16 and took off again. He didn't want her to hate him or think bad of him. She told him flat out that she can't hate someone she has never known. As for thinking bad of him. She told him she doesn't think of him at all. She was very nice and polite to him as she was taught as a child. If she never sees him again. She's ok. I just took pictures and he barely asked how I was or acknowledged that I was there. He focused on my sister. Which is just fine with me. I like my sister just don't care. We were raised by my Mom and her parents. My fathers parents loved us and never stopped seeing us even after they moved to the Cape. Grams is his Mom.

As you can tell. I am happy to be home. A short trip north with lots of drama. I really dislike drama.

I hope everyone has a great day. Time for the gym to bleed off some stress.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY.

I hope everyone has had an awesome day so far. I started off on my favorite beach. What a gorgeous beach day for sure.

Then my phone rang. One of my younger sisters called to let me know my favorite person in the whole world has a malignant brain tumor. My Grams. She'll be 94 on October 1st. If she makes it that long. She's awesome. Has always been awesome.
I noticed the last few times I spoke to her she was having issues remembering what we were talking about. Now she can't hear even with her hearing aides. So I will take to sending her letters. She lives on Cape Cod with my Uncle in a huge house overlooking the Cape Cod Sound. It will be hard getting any updates from my Uncle or his girlfriend. They have a tendency to not answer any questions or be forthcoming with information. I am not looking forward to loosing my Grams at all. But she's had a great life.

I just have not had a very good week in the news department for sure.

This is one of my best friends Walter. Walter was just diagnosed with acute mylogenous leukemia. You've read a lot about Walter, his restaurant on the beach we all hang out at. I ride with him. And I've known him since 1995. Thats a long time.

Walter also has no insurance. The best part of no insurance is he's still in the hospital. They are running the tests that need to get run and we will have the results really quickly. Today and tomorrow. See with no insurance they can't turn down the tests to save money. He's already had his bone marrow test. With insurance getting that test done is tough. Let alone 3 days after you find out how sick you are. The Dr's have told him with insurance he would already be at home and all follow up would be at the office. It sure makes you wonder. And all of us have talks with Walter in the last few months about his insurance. He said; "I'm only 44 and I have never been sick" It makes me wonder what we all knew.

His parents are already in, his brother got in last night and his cousin is coming in today to run the restaurant. Italian restaurants are huge in this family. We will be raising money for him to help with these bills that are piling up. And if he needs a bone marrow transplant, then we will just keep raising money till we get it done. And i have the same blood type. You bet i'll register and be tested for a match. We all will.

They brought in his dinner last night. No need for hospital food. His Dad had brought in a pizza from his place, another friend had made ribs and mashed potatoes. Food won't be a problem for sure. The nurses are nice and attentive. Don't mind that his private room is packed with all of us. They already know him at check in. He's really loved and it shows. His daughter has been spending the night. So they brought in a cot for her. She's 18 and already talking not going to college in August. She won't leave her Dad. I don't blame her for that one. My daughter will work with her on how to postpone her education without loosing her 100% scholarship. Smart girl. Valedictorian in the magnet school.

Anyway, please keep Walter and his family in your prayers. He's going to need all the help he can get


Update: Walter got the test results in today. The results were not good. He has full blown leukemia. So he starts chemo tomorrow and is requesting no visitors until further notice. They are saying he will be in the hospital at least a month. He's just trying to absorb all that this entails. As his closest friends we are all in the same boat and will do everything in our power to get him and his family thru this in one piece. Walter is one of the nicest people on the planet. He's real people. And will do anything and everything for anyone. It's time to return the favor in spades.

I got tented this week for termites. If you've ever had the pleasure of this experience, you know how fun it can be. First you have to find a place to stay for up to 3 days. Pack up all food items, toiletries, etc. Not gag on all the things you are throwing out. (It is good for purging the refrigerator and pantry though.)
As you can tell from the picture we had some damage. Now how that got broken I am not sure. But I would thing their might have been some termites hanging out in the woodwork. Then one of the guys putting up the tent did a little stepping.
Three adults and 2 dogs, and a cat stuffed into a small hotel room was cramped. It's a very good thing my kids are grown and we like each other. The dogs (especially my little white one) decided they needed to announce every single person walking down the hall. We were thinking of buying some muzzles. The cat was a champ. Much to our surprise. Poor Izzie had eyes like saucers and was a total nervous mess the whole time. Shiloh considered it a huge adventure like anything new. Lets just say I am happy to be home. But the cleanup continues.
I have washed the linens, the floors, the refrigerator, my underwear. (i know, they say it's not harmful and you don't need to, but I really like clean undies, clean dishes, etc.) If what they use kills bugs, etc. Do I really want to eat off the plates, drink from the cups and use the silver ware before washing. I think I will just put my mind to rest and do some cleaning for my own peace of mind.
My daughter still went to work, I went to school, and my son just worked from a hotel instead of home. We still went to the gym. But we ate out. So life went on. And the termites hopefully died and won't land on my daughter anymore while she's sleeping. Which will make us all happier. Thats what started this whole mess.
My weekend will hopefully be spent on the beach. Tonight is a Toby Keith concert and the weather looks like it will cooperate. It's an outside amphitheater. This is a fun venue. But only if it stays dry. I've been poured on twice up there. Not fun for sure. Then it takes an hour to get home.

HAVE A FUN WEEKEND EVERYONE. I HAVE SOME MORE CLEANING TO DO AND PUT THE FOOD ITEMS BACK IN THE PANTRY IN A ORGANIZED MANNER.

I have survived another week of learning to deal poker. Next week will be week 6. I actually feel like I am making progress.
But I sure don't see myself finishing it up any time soon. Now I see why no one finishes in 6 weeks. The good news is I don't have to pay additional money.

Monday I played hooky and went to the Keys with my friend on a bike. I understand almost everyone from school took the day off. Quiet. I needed a break.

Yesterday was a beach morning. Gorgeous and the dogs were at the groomers. They look so cute. I also skipped the gym yesterday. So I dragged myself to the gym this morning. It didn't look good for the beach. Now it looks gorgeous. But it's also the hottest part of the day and I feel no need to bake when I can just go in the morning when it's less packed and peaceful. And much cooler. But I will go riding tonight. Just as long as it doesn't rain.

So what are your summer plans? I am staying put for the most part. I had originally wanted to spend some time on the Jersey Shore. But it's getting too expensive to travel this summer. And I live in paradise to start with. So I see no need to go to New Jersey , be without my motorcycle for an extended period of time. You get the idea.

Have and awesome week and thanks for stopping by and saying hello.

I photographed my first wedding on Sunday. I think it was a good experience. The bride and groom are very low key, they loved the pictures. I actually showed them the finished work this evening. They are forgoing a honeymoon until later. He just lost his Dad 3 weeks ago. I left them 2 disks full of pictures. One for the wedding and one for the reception. Their blended family is now 5. The little guy is hers and the girls are his. Nice kids,

School is going well. Frustrating, hard to stay inside for 6 hours.

I'll write more later.

Happy Memorial Day.

What are your plans for this long weekend?

I have been riding my bike every day. Yesterday was a ride up the coast to Palm Beach with a friend. Gorgeous riding day. It was a toss up of riding or a beach day.

This past week I started casino dealer school. It is time for me to go back to work. It seems that the only people making money down here are in the casinos. So why not join them. I don't gamble, so I seriously doubt I will get sucked into the environment. They moved the poker tables in the local casino into a free standing room. No slots, no smoking, etc. Now that really works for me.

I got my car back from the body shop. I got hit by a 100 pound dog in my drivers door a few weeks ago. The dog was still alive the last I saw. The dog evidently bolted from their apartment and went straight into my car full speed. It's a very good thing I have a little car.

My son is back home for awhile. The full house is sure full. But it's fun having him around. I sure see my oldest more with his brother around. My oldest keeps dropping off his dog for play time while they all go out.

So what has been going on in your life lately?

My Mothers Day was spent on the beach with my kids.

I had to laugh when they all laid down and took a nap.
Now why wouldn't they do that when they were small and I needed a break?


All in all it was a really nice and peaceful day.

I hope everyone else had a super peaceful day also.

AREN'T THEY SO CUTE?
THE GIRLS GOT GROOMED TODAY.

Welcome to another week in sunny South Florida.

Bruce Springsteen finally made it down here for the concert.
I went with my youngest and he just rocked the house non stop for 3 hours.
My son was impressed and will go again.

Saturday was busy. A friend of mine and I went riding in the morning and out to breakfast on the beach in Fort Lauderdale. We stopped by the Mercedes dealership to pick up a key he ordered and I got to sit in a $500,000 car. Sweet. No we were on our bikes and looked it. The sales guys all saw us arrive. Now this car sits really low, and is a bear to get out of. I wouldn't want to get out of it in a dress.

I know more got home , met my new neighbors (nice), and my phone rang. Beach time. So I threw my suit on and headed out.
My friend from the gym who gives me massages for free, needed a massage. So while he got a massage from me, he drifted listening to the sounds of the ocean with the sun beating down on us. He got a 3 hour massage. We go to the beach together all the time. He gives me massages on the beach too. Peaceful. After the massage he tried to stand up. He was mush. But we jumped in the ocean and cooled off.

I got home and my phone rang again. My morning friend was on his way over and we rode the bikes down town for a latin jazz concert and walked around down town. Then home for a movie. He fell asleep.

Sunday was gym in the morning, a nice long ride by myself then off to a "Chicago" concert with my sweetie on the bike. Great concert. Chicago was playing 5 minutes from my house.. I love it when good concerts come to the casino. And taking the bike is easier for parking. VIP and up front.

So as you can tell it was a fun filled busy weekend. I hope all had a wonderful weekend also.

Sunset and the beach were wonderful last night.

Hollywood Beach hosts several special events every month. Last night was
cruising cars.. Older cars in mint condition. Today was arts and crafts on the beach.

Monday my adopted son turns 26. I am taking him and his girlfriend deep sea fishing.
He has no idea. She's just going to wake him up and take him to the boat. Should prove interesting,
He likes to be in control. Tuesday they leave for New Jersey for good. I'm going to miss them.
So I'm spoiling him before he leaves.

I hope all have a wonderful and fun filled weekend.

Tonight I am helping at my friends restaurant while he is out with the boys.